Star Trek TOS: The Omega Glory -- review by AprilThe Enterprise chances across the USS Exeter on auto pilot orbiting planet Omega 4. After hailing the ship, Uhura receives no response so Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Lt. Galloway (a red shirt) decide to beam to the Exeter. Finding nothing but uniforms and crystals laying on the floor, Spock locates the last log of the ship’s surgeon and the news is not happy. The entire crew has died from an infection brought back from the planet. But… where is the captain of the Exeter?

 

Quickly beaming to the planet, the landing party interrupts a beheading of a Yang about to be carried out by a Kohm.As everyone stares at each other, out walks the guest of honor, captain of the Exeter Ronald Tracey, portrayed by Morgan Woodward.

Striking and imposing, Ron’s rich baritone voice greets Kirk and crew. He then orders the savages, the Yangs, to be locked up. After exchanging pleasantries, McCoy sets out to isolate the virus. Kirk however, even though he could possibly be trapped there forever, is having misgivings about Ron’s involvement on the planet. This misgiving is over The Prime Directive: Not interfering with occupants or their way of life on a planet no matter what, even if this means a guaranteed painful, flaming, disemboweling death for you and your crew. This is an oath taken by every starship captain to uphold which Kirk feels Ron has broken. Kirk thinks it’s best to report Ron for not dying a horrible death, like any starship captain would do. Yes, Ron what were you thinking? Before he can hail the Enterprise in walks Captain Tracey, taller than anyone in the room in his tight-fitting, late 60s harvest gold shirt and a phaser set to kill. The red shirt finally gets it and it’s about time. He’s flash fried and disintegrated before he can twitch. You know that guy was doomed from the second we saw him on the screen. Man or woman, almost anyone wearing red on that show died in the first ten minutes. It never fails.

Captain Tracey calls the Enterprise telling them Kirk is delirious, after one of the Kohm throttles him with a knock to the head. Coming to and sitting on the floor in a roomful of feedbags, Kirk, with a phaser in his face, hands tied behind his back, begins to rattle off the Miranda-ish Prime Directive to Captain Tracey. Ron’s not hearing it, and offers Kirk a snake oil proposition. Just ask Wu.

   “Their year of the Redbird comes every 11 years, which he’s seen 42 times. Multiply it. Wu is 462 years old. His father is well over a thousand.”

This always reminded me of those trick question math problems only a select few, like Ronald Tracey, got right. You know, the ones that start out if Mary has 50 apples and she gives 100 to Jane, who then takes the bus 16 miles to her aunt’s house, walks another 23 miles uphill in the snow to her house and sees 1 bear, how many apples did she bring her aunt?

Kirk asks Ron why he did it. He did it… for immortality.

And money. And, a whole fleet of ships at his beck and call.

And they’ll do it.”

Plus, a never-ending supply of phaser power packs. And… cigars, fame, hot tubs for every mud hut on the planet, free gift of the month club, and a paper Burger King crown.

Kirk tells Ron he’ll think about it, then breaks free and attempts to give Ron Tracey a beat down. Ha! Don’t blink or you’ll miss it. Ron kicks Kirk’s butt so fast that even Wu doesn’t hear it until he calls for the guards.

Kirk is taken to a holding cell, where Ron instructs McCoy is to be released to do more research.

The pointed eared one stays.”

Ron is planning another ambush on the Kohms with many fireboxes. Kirk is tossed into the cell with savage Cloud William and his wife. They fight. Kirk tries to reason with them. Spock neck pinches the wife. The savage speaks. Kirk gets beat down number 2 and according to Spock is out cold for 7 hours and 8 minutes. How long does it take him to escape? Not long. Both join McCoy who tells him they are all disease-free and can leave anytime. Hey, let’s contact the ship.

No messages!”

It’s Ron! He’s back and blasting his phaser at Spock. Looking worse for wear, Ron tells a cautionary tale.

They came and they came. We drained four of our phasers and they still came. We killed thousands (1000s) and they still came.”

Kirk and McCoy tell Ron all of this was for nothing. There is no serum and people live longer on the planet because it’s natural for them. Upon hearing this, whatever sanity Ron had is now shattered. Holding back a pout, Ron orders Kirk outside,

Or I’ll burn down both your friends now.”

Outside the drums of insanity are playing. Ron orders Kirk to call his ship and ask for 5 phasers – no - 10. With 3 extra power packs each. Humoring Ron, Kirk calls the Enterprise to request the weapons. No can do. Even if I am in danger? Nope. We can beam down more red shirts if you want. No, just forget it. Kirk out.

Kirk sucker punches Ron who doesn’t even move from the punch. Ron chases Kirk through the village firing away until his phaser is finally drained. Ever resourceful, Ron grabs the beheading ax while those incessant drums of social upheaval grow louder. Kirk manages to leap onto Ron throwing him to the ground. As both men struggle, the spearheads of the Yangs put a stop their fighting.

Back at the Yang’s hideout, the Yangs are celebrating. We see the men decked out in outrageously bad wigs. They round up Ron, Kirk, and the rest of the landing party. As Ron sits and pouts, Spock and Kirk ponder the Yangs... Yankees. Kohms… Communists. The drums start up again and this time we see the guy responsible for it. The drummer is followed by a man carrying a battle worn American Flag, with the most filth-covered face on the planet surface. Cloud William, speaker of the holy words, recites the Pledge of Allegiance in what sounds like a mishmash of Latin and English. Of course, he is cut off by Kirk’s hand chopping over the top style. Kirk tells Cloud he is from a tribe ‘up there.’ Cloud asks if he’s been cast out.

Here comes Ron, wild-eyed, sweaty, and daring God to strike him dead if the other 3 are not evil doers. He claims to be a God then demonizes Spock.

You want more proof? He has no heart.”

Cloud listens and discovers Spock doesn’t have a heartbeat. The Yangs don’t know what to do until Cloud suggests he read a sentence from the holy words and the good one will finish. Kirk struggles to remember but doesn’t know the rest of the sentence. I wonder when it suddenly turned into a spoken word version of Name That Tune. I can see Ron now, “Harebrained Caesarism for 100.”

Kirk suggests a better way. Good always destroys evil and the fight is done when one is dead. Kirk, it is assumed, is good. I’ll give you one guess who’s playing evil.

With their wrists tied together, Ron and Kirk, drag, punch, pull, tumble, kicking and clawing their way towards a machete sticking upright in the floor at the other end of the room. Kirk somehow manages to get the knife thrusting it to Ron’s neck. Being the good one, Kirk lets him live. In the meantime Spock, using his Vulcan powers, has put a suggestion into the mind of Mrs. William to get the communicator and open it up. This brings Sulu and 2 red shirts to the rescue. Taking Ron into custody, he almost makes it out the door. But is stopped by Spock to listen… to the speech.

While Kirk tells Cloud he’s no God, the old man in the bad wig guarding the box containing the holy words is shoved out of the way by Kirk like he’s nothing. Kirk's ham-fisted, hollering delivery of the cliff notes of the Constitution puzzles Cloud and his tribe. He tells them these words are meant for the Yangs as well as the Kohms. Cloud swears to Kirk he will uphold the holy words.

This may have been said elsewhere, but isn’t this messing with that prime directive Kirk berated Ron over breaking?

Gentlemen, the fighting is over here. Back to the ship and start your engines.

I know, nearly everyone and their brother has seen this episode at least once in their lives. I didn’t find volumes discussing the character of Ronald Tracey at any length and felt a detailed point of view of the episode for a website devoted to Morgan Woodward would be apropos.

I will be the first one to say I am not a Star Trek devotee and have never been to a Star Trek convention. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t love the show. I do and have been fortunate over the years to tape the show and have nearly every episode. Not only because Morgan was in two, the other of course being Dagger of the Mind, but like many, I just loved the show. Over the years, I’ve read Star Trek’s comparison to that of Wagon Train in space. I always smile when I see this, because not only did Morgan appear in several Wagon Train episodes, this is proof positive it doesn’t matter where trouble is. I know, no matter what Morgan’s character gets himself into, whether it be on a horse or a spaceship, he will handle it with his own special brand of beautiful insane evilness.

Oh, that goofy math problem I made up: Jane doesn’t make it to her aunt’s house. The bear ate her and all the apples.

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